Category Archives: UK Labour Scottish Branch Office

Labour's Wee Red Bell

Gordon Brown, Stargazer

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As regular readers may know, I have an affinity for rock and metal music. My daughter likes to call my eclectic musical tastes, “Auld Mannie Music.” However you did get a better class of lyric in old(er) music, and guitar solos too. So today’s reflections are centred around a Rainbow number called Stargazer. It encapsulates the predicament of the British Labour party Scottish Branch Office perfectly (and it’s got a guitar solo too).

The song is about a wizard who proclaims that he can fly to the stars, he just needs a platform to fly from. Said platform is built by the wizards followers who Labour (sorry) over the structure for years. The reason why the workers perform this work is because they “believe” the wizard can fly to the stars. Once the tower is built the wizard ascends then jumps off and “falls instead of rising”.

You’ve probably figured out that the wizard that features in the song is a parody of our old friend, and big beast of the Labour party, Gordie Broon. The edifice upon which he is climbing, and which the workers have toiled over for years, is the Labour party. The wizard is in freefall, just like the Labour parties poll ratings.

They are getting so desperate that they are already wheeling out the ghost of prime minister past. Today he was offering “The Vow Plus“. What on earth are you wittering on about Gordie? Well it’s like the Vow, which never really existed but is reckoned to have swung a No vote, but with a wee shiny bell on it:

Labour's Wee Red Bell

Labour’s Wee Red Bell

Basically Gordie is saying that Scotland will get the Smith Commission stuff plus the bits that Labour argued against during the Smith Commission (that’s the wee red bell). Stuff like housing benefit and an unfunded £500 million employment fund and further devolution of powers down to Cycling Proficiency Club level. That’s how radical their proposals are. Free-falling.

But now that the wizard has fallen we can see the truth, the rainbow is rising, and we’re coming home. But the home that we are talking about is the home of corruption; the palace of Westminster.

Jim Murphy plays keepy-up instead of voting

Playing Keepy-up While Parliament Votes

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Our old pal Jim Murphy MP, branch manager of the North Britain branch of the UK Labour party couldn’t resist a   at the home of football – Pittodrie. There he was showing the assembled press his silky skills while the UK parliament voted on fracking in Westminster (546 miles away by road).

This was a bit odd after he and his party had spent the whole weekend telling us that they were going to vote to stop fracking from taking place, however when the vote came the majority of the Labour MPs abstained from voting at all. It would appear that they lied.

Labour's Fracking Poster

Labour’s Fracking Poster

They also lied about voting to transfer powers over fracking to the Scottish parliament, they lied about that too. This just after they had voted with the Tories for another £30 billion in austerity cuts and voted FOR spending over £100 billion on renewing Trident nuclear missiles.

Jim Murphy wants to replace Trident

Jim Murphy wants to replace Trident

Who can trust a party like that?

Jim Murphy plays keepy-up instead of voting

Jim Murphy plays keepy-up instead of voting

Blocked by Braden Davy

Blocked by Braden Davy (Labour candidate for Gordon)

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I’ve been moved to write a piece about Labour because their candidate for GE2015 has decided to block me on Twitter. This seems a strange thing to do to one of your potential constituents. It would seem that he would rather run and hide than engage in political debate. Or maybe he was told by his puppet master to block anyone who attempted to engage in meaningful political debate. I can’t say that I’m missing much though, all he seems to do is spend his time bashing the SNP. They are to blame for everything apparently.

Blocked by Braden Davy

Blocked by Braden Davy

He is an odd character our Braden, he has spent most of his life in Northumberland he only came to Scotland in 2012, “parachuted in” would be the phrase I believe. Wings has done some excellent work on researching his background. He has been known to make personal attacks on his critics too, even going as far as making a complaint to someone’s employer about alleged bullying! Not exactly MP material. On his election website he states, “In May next year the people of Gordon face a choice: you can vote for someone who will pursue the policies of grievance…” or Alex Salmond. I hope he comes to my door, I’ll maybe get to have that debate with him after all.